“Dating Drought-But a Laker Win” Weekend

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So the weekend started off early for the rowdy UG girls-Wednesday to be exact. Who does that…every week? We started it off right and headed to downtown to watch and root for our favorite home team in the finals, The Lakers. After a nightmarish parking situation, we headed to Casey’s for a quick drink. We watched the game there for a bit, but decided to try up an old place we’ve heard a lot about, but had yet to explore.

The Library Bar was packed with cute boys and better yet, a selection of edible goodies in a price range our pocketbooks could sustain. There must’ve been something in the air because Carina was fancying something she almost never orders, a burger! And ironically, I ordered something I seldom order-a salad! That should’ve been an ominous sign for the weekend, but we decided to test our fortune and stay with the lively locals. Carina was very impressed by her burger’s delectability and I was impressed by the light and well-seasoned salad that nourished my famished bones. In truth, I had a large lunch and was hesitant to try anything at all, but as you all know-the UG ladies are never ones to turn down a new food adventure. It’s gluttony over common sense any day. Plus, the UG’s don’t know shit about balance anyways. The food fared well and we were very happy with the crowd. Carina was just happy because she loves pickles, the girl is a pickle addict. I just heard a funny pun on the subject: Women who love pickles on sandwiches…really love dilled dough. At any rate, despite the small quarters, the Library Bar, was apparently THE place to be. The floor was so packed that a single trip to the bar proved to be an arduous endeavor.

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The uncouth moment of the night: Carina and I sat on the only empty couch in the packed house. We were amazed at the nature of our good luck. In total oblivion, we brushed it off as just luck and thanked our good UG fortune (God’s gift to me is my “princess parking”). A few minutes later, the people next to us asked what movie we were in. Confused and nervous we responded with, “um…pardon me?” They told us that the area was reserved for some LA Film Festival party. We gave them a blank stare *insert cricket noise AND awkward turtle motion here*. The Italian actor laughed and told us we were welcome there regardless of our acting aptitude. We all laughed and they took us into their family like the adopted red-headed orphan Annies’ that we are. We asked the Italian actor why he was drinking water and without a beat (actor terminology) he said, “I am only into drugs”. We made small chat, but mostly rooted for our victorious Laker team! Let me tell you, Laker fans are the most passionate and unruly people ever!

Nonetheless, I am amazed at the conviction displayed by my fellow Angelenos. Contrary to my previous post, our fellowship among this sport is proof that we are a conglomerate to be scared of (esp, during riots). But remember what Kobe, my boyfriend, says, “celebrate with dignity LA.” 🙂

***BTW, glad the City of LA is not paying for the parade (you know, if you don’t take into account the price of what it will take to keep order on the streets).

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Friday started off late and we decided to claim another piece of the city, Hollywood (or as the UG’s refer to it-Hollyweird). We were all set on going to a Lesbian disco that Carina heard about on Twitter. Will someone please propose a new empty pastime for Carina? The girl is addicted. But given our “dating drought,” I called Carina and said, “maybe going to a Lesbian disco would be a step backwards for us!” She laughed and quickly agreed. We were on a mission to meet boys and have fun! We picked up our friend, Meg and braved a bigger world of lights, camera, and pseudo actors! Meg is the funniest cat you’ve ever heard. For instance, here is her latest FB status update, “Meg’s favorite band has been The Cure for 18 years straight. Bet anyone who has said she/he has commitment issues is feeling pretty silly right now”. Needless to say, she keeps the laughs coming. Below is a collage of some of our misadventures through Citizen Smith, Beauty Bar, and the night’s favorite, Big Wangs. Who needs a photobooth when you have three girls and a camera? It’s no wonder we can’t get dates… We exploit any ounce of fun we can out of any given situation. I bet people are turned off by our collective shenanigans. As the old adage says, “Girls just a wanna have fun!” Or was that Cindy Lauper? 🙂

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By the end of the night, we were karoke’ing it up with ketchup bottles, harassing poor drunk boys, dancing to Rhianna’s “Umbrella” by making umbrellas with our arms, and eating the best freakin’ chicken wings ever! Some very funny drunk boy even puked all over the floor next to Carina’s purse and jacket! No harm though; he missed by an inch! The same drunk boy, or “puke boy” as we called him, came up to us earlier and started rambling incoherent jabber. And while he was talking to us earlier that night, his brother approached our table and said, “hey, dude, mom’s waiting outside”. That got the first laughter of the night going.

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On our way home, we got to talking about how we hadn’t had a date in weeks (and for one of us-months) and coincidentally how the number of hits on the blog were dropping. I turned around and told Carina, “we are not getting laid, therefore we are not getting hits!” She agreed. We have too much fun together and at the end of the day, I’d rather have friends than dates (although come back dates and hits…we miss you). Are we just having a few bad weeks? Or is it that we really aren’t fit for dating? I’ve been on a few fleeting dates with a bunch of assholes who have evidently been way too into themselves to even pick up a phone. Can I get an injunction to arrest these men for lying? Legal assistance, please! Meanwhile, the wife has had no luck on J Date We are hopeless! I’m starting to think we were made for each other! Maybe it’s us? Or perhaps, it is that we have so much more to learn about men? Regardless, we are exhausted! On the bright side, here’s a little perspective, Carina and I do have:

1. An education

2. A fabulous job with good career trajectory

3. Great apartments

4. And each other

Truthfully, we shouldn’t be sulking. We have it all.

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A giant urinal in Hollywood? Not weird?! Hello, we’re conservative Pasadena girls! We couldn’t resist a picture.

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The final night of our journey ended with the Mayor (or Mr. Arun, to be exact). If you live in Los Angeles, I am sure you know someone that knows someone who knows Arun. He’s like the Kevin Bacon of LA. Annnnywayyyyys….He had told me about Bar Chloe in Santa Monica a few nights before and being the butterflies that we are, we followed him to yet another side of town, the Westside. We got there fashionably early and joked about how we are too easy (no, not that kind of easy-if we did we’d have hits), but the kind of easy that we never say no to any friendly invitation. Arun says we need to play a little harder to get and be less available. If we were dating, this is when he would’ve broken up with us. And sadly for us, he’d be doing the right thing:) We partied down with Veronica, Erin, John, and Arun.

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Bar Chloe proved to be too couth for us. It is a quaint French lounge inhabited with a wealthy, but mellow crowd. Carina and I didn’t know what to do with ourselves because we are neither wealthy, nor mellow. We stuck around for a few drinks and headed off to The W Hotel in Westwood to meet up with our friend, Nora. Everything was perfect at the W. We got princess parking (after all I was driving), got right in, and partied down until 2AM.

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We ended the night at Lucky Boy in Pasadena. You have to remember, these UG Girls don’t know anything about balance. And the UG’s had, of course, the most phallic things on the menu. I had a breakfast burrito and Carina had a corn dog! Truly symptomatic of a lack of dating. We don’t plan these things, I swear! They just seem to happen to us. On a side note, it has always been my dream of having a website called, GirlsEatingBurritos.com.

Awkward Turtle/Funny Moment: The most truly unbelievable thing happened at Lucky Boy; we were beyond unlucky girls. At night Lucky Boy’s closes their indoor dining area and you can only order at the outside window and sit at the tables on the patio. We grabbed the only free table and it was gross, salsa was everywhere, but we are uncouth so sat down no problem. There was a rose on the bench I was sitting on so I thought it was a good sign. I picked it up and pretended that it was from my secret admirer. Carina played along acting jealous that she didn’t have one. All of the sudden I got a tap on my shoulder from the guy at the next table who said, “Excuse me, do you happen to have a rose at your table?” I nodded and said, “Yes, it was from my boyfriend.” He was trying to be kind and diplomatic and responded by saying, “You are very beautiful so I can believe that but that rose is actually mine for my girlfriend, can I have it back?” I was mortified as I handed it over. His girlfriend was glaring. And Carina was in hysterics saying, “That happened on the Bachelor, when during the rose ceremony he gave the rose to the wrong girl and had to get it back”

We had a good weekend. The UG girls live in a world where friends are everything and the men are disposable.

As an end to a fabulous weekend, on Sunday, we ate great at Taste of the Nation LA and then the Lakers claimed victory over the Orlando Magic in our very own hometown. Go LAL! We had no doubt you’d come through.

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1 Comment

  1. Josie,

    Forget Oprah’s “The Secret” and positive thinking bullshit there is something magical that happens when you put negativity, humor, and self-deprecation together on your blog. Yesterday, we got our highest number of blog hits ever and I went out with a boy for many drinks and late night diner food alone (at this point in my life, it will definitely constitute as a “date” )

    Oh yeah, hits and dates!

    The UGs are back on top, just where we like to be! (This entry is so full of innuendo)

    Carina


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