Welcome Back, Mojo!

Veronica's Party Pic

Things are looking up for the UG ladies. We don’t know what caused it (ok, so we watched the Oprah endorsed documentary, The Secret), but a change has come and we have a completely different outlook. We have an ad campaign to launch, a promo video in the works, and dates we can’t keep up with. But getting to this good fortune was tough. For instance, last week we couldn’t get a date if we were chocolate covered millionaires! Plus, I was starting to wonder why the hell Carina was still taking birth control?:) She must be taking extra caution.

And so the story begins…


Like always, the persistent UG ladies decided to once again gallivant around town and look for some much needed amusement. Since I have Friday’s off (before Carina and I start any new job, we make sure to put a 3 day weekend in our contract), we went to the fringes of Highland Park and went to the St. Vincent de Paul Thrift Store for some cheap shopping. From there, we hit up the nearby gold mine, El Huarache Azteca. I’ve been going there since my college hay-days, and Miss. Kristina and I try to frequent it after weekend hangovers. So when Carina told me she’d been reading about the bright orange shack, I quickly obliged to revisit the charming little spot.

We walked in and the place was surprisingly empty. It must’ve been too early because the place is always hustling and bustling. The claustrophobic confirmation came at the end of our meal when every table was packed and instead of leaving to eat at any of the other 300 taco places in the vicinity, people opted to stand and eat rather than leave.



The visit started when the owner greeted us with the same robust smile and kind spanish demeanor he’s had for the last six years I’ve known him. He quickly hooked us up with a melon agua fresca and horchata. Carina ordered an asada huarache and I ordered the kids pork huarache special. For those that aren’t familiar with the term, a huarache is a open-faced cross between a sope and a taco. Each table is has its own condiment staples which consist of three different sauces, oregano, and for those salt-happy whores like your truly, salt and pepper. Everything was as good as I remembered it. In fact, the the food was so good, the UG’s even mustered up the appetite for a gigantic plate of chillaquiles. We didn’t know it then, but all was starting to be become right for the UG’s.


From lunch (and a huge belly), we went home for some much needed napping. We decided to go back out later that night with, Miss. Morgan, who also needed to get out. We picked her up and decided that in homage to the King of Pop’s death, we’d go out and dance our little hearts out to his music. We decided to hit up Bar 107 in downtown. We, despite the rough spot, got our princess parking right out front. Man, we’re good! The place was booming, but little to no MJ tunes were playing. We wanted to move to a place that would definitely have some MJ dance tunes playing. We quandered and unanimously said, “Menage!” Morgan in the middle of a booty-call opted to stay behind (and if you know her, behind is her adjective…if you know what I mean).

Given our little restraint, we headed to The Menage. Ok, so here comes the climax of the story—welcome back mojo! We had so many boys pinning us to stripper poles we didn’t know what to do! We once again needed escape routes! I swear there’s evidence of the story, but I’m an idiot and have temporarily misplaced my camera. Evidence to come, I swear!


Armed with our newly found dating swagger, the UG’s headed off to Veronica’s Pre-Create Fixate cocktail party in downtown above our favorite little Monday Trivia Night Pub, Royal Clayton’s. I wasn’t drinking, but made a few cocktails for the guests and met a lot of interesting people that just enjoy food for fuck’s sake. As our contribution, we made fruit skewers and dessert.





Everyone else headed to Create Fixate, but being the poor UG’s that we are couldn’t justify a $20 cover for Burning Man LA:); I kid! So the other UG and I decided to pop into Church & State for a drink. Much to my surprise I landed yet another date by the cute cocktail waiter. It must have been because we were the first to blog about his ice company before every food blogger in LA jumped on the ice bandwagon.


We were still party animals and got home slightly earlier than normal, 2:30 instead of 3:30, after all we had a big day the following day.



I asked Carina to be at my house at 8am in preparation for our 11am photo shoot with an Academy Award winning photographer. In retrospect, there was no need for her to be there so early because I was still asleep and it was more important that we got our beauty rest instead of more time to pick out accessories. I was the hair dresser and stylist and a friend from work was kind enough to do our make-up and we looked better than we ever have. Our photographer was nice as can be but was used to working with nude models and was slightly annoyed by my demands to have my shoes in all shots. I am pretty sure we are the only “models” in history to eat our entire way through a photo shoot. Actually, I am positive because I googled “models eating” for inspiration and got zero results. We were both yelled at several times, “Ladies, look at the camera not at the food!” What does he expect we are Uncouth Gourmands?!?!



Monday, was the day where we really decided to put The Secret to good use and create our vision board. Carina arrived at my house feeling sick and sad. Apparently, she drove to the Chevy Chase Library in Glendale to rent The Secret and was feeling nauseous from the combo of a windy road (Chevy Chase Dr.) and too many sour gummy candies. She was also feeling sad because at the Albertsons by my house her total came to $12.34, the cashier was impressed saying, “1-2-3-4” and Carina was also very ecstatic. This was all until the hot teenage bagger said, “It happens all the time”. She replied “Thanks, a lot” and arrived in a not so happy mood. We quickly changed her thinking to positive energy as we cut images out of magazines, made a mess out of my living room, and began good work on our vision board.


We took a break at the end of the movie when our friend Meg came over to make dinner. I had very little food and Carina just brought some tomatoes, cucumbers, onion, and lime. Meg brought one of the UG’s favorite ingredients-bread and then we began to raid my fridge and cupboards. We got some ground beef from a guy we met during our photo shoot that has his own ranch. We also found some polenta and got to work on a meal. Meg looked like a deer in the headlights watching Carina and I tear in and start cooking the only way we know how-like savages. We ended up with a panzanella salad, a cucumber salad (which I froze by sticking in the freezer for a little to long-Meg called it a picksicle), a polenta and beef shepard’s pie and a lot of toast. It worked – sort of.



After dinner we went back to work on our vision board. We put ourselves on the cover of Entrepreneur Magazine, crossed out Martha Stewart Show and wrote Uncouth Gourmands show, took an Oprah magazine and wrote featuring the UG Ladies. I laughed and asked Carina, “Are you sure your mother is a school teacher?” Her cutting and glue-sticking ability was really sub par. Although she gave me the biggest laugh of the night when she glued a phrase on our vision board that read, “Lexicon for your Libido”



By the way, you’re welcome for getting the first look at the Uncouth Gourmands on the cover of Entrepreneur magazine!



  1. […] Best Meal (Low End): El Huarache Azteca in Highland Park was the first place I ever had a huarache and I am forever hooked. I crave it now more than I crave tacos and burritos, not quite at nacho […]

  2. […] will now take the helm at Bon Appetit magazine and will also head the Gourmet brand. When we did our photo shoot, I googled a variation of “models that eat” or “fashion food photo shoot” […]

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