This has been a long fun-filled weekend that started out far more productive than most. Josie and I are used to doing a lot of messing around (for the millionth time, we are NOT lesbians). A couple of months ago, I pulled out the beautiful notebook she made me and she said, “All we do is dick around.” One of our friends commented, “You call this dicking around? There’s a calendar in the back of this notebook.” It’s true, sometimes we are very good and hard workers. Friday was one of these days, we met with our video guy at SBUX and I brought in chicken tarna from Zankou next door to eat. When Josie arrived she looked at me and said, “You are stinking up the joint”. I responded, “Is that your way of asking for some?” Of course, it was. We then spent the next 6 hours creating our empire on paper and writing a treatment (industry term) for the TV show we want to have. Think “No Reservations” meets the female version of “Entourage”. We had a meeting at Bodega with someone and may be one step closer to our goal. Afterward we headed to Spaceland for a PBR and to celebrate our hardwork with a beautiful soundtrack. Playing that night was Circus Minor and Black Hard Procession.
It’s nice that there is two of us because we constantly introduce each other to new music, movies, books, and restaurants. I was unaware of these two bands and Josie introduced them to me and I fell in love. I have a thing for drummers and both of the bands had some fine stick men.
The next day we both knew that we would be boarding a party bus, the ATS Party Bus aka “Hippodrome”. This event was put together by our downtown friends, Arun and Veronica, who are notorious for Pub Crawls but this was like a million times better because we got to roll to locations. I tried to pad my belly as I knew it would be filled with a bunch of booze later in the night and discovered the BEST new Korean place by my house called Cham. It was amazing, did the job, and we began our journey at Yxta where we arrived the same time as the bus. We shocked Arun as he was sure we’d be the last two to arrive. We got there at 5:30 and the bus left at 6, giving us just enough time to get a pre-bus margarita by our favorite bartender, Dennis of Yxta.
Our bus was booze filled as everyone brought several bottles and snacks. There was no exact route and we began by touring Boyle Heights. John, the white guy in the first picture was afraid he would be killed. He kept saying, if I saw this bus coming through my hood, I’d shoot at it. Arun got on the microphone and said, “This is Boyle Heights a mixture of Jewish and Latino culture. This is for Carina, half of the Uncouth Gourmands and a Jewtina.” I got some applauds and the racial awkward turtles continued when we toured Chinatown and Arun said, “This is for Kane”, the young Chinese lad in the first photo. John then asked Josie to show her green card and attempted to throw her out the window. John is the man that came up with the “Josie and the Awkward Turtles” line and for that alone he can do no wrong. I’ll allow him throw my partner (business not life) out the window. There was a potty stop at someone’s Silverlake home, a Ryan Gosling spotting, and for those few minutes of stationery bus time I polished off the Framboise we bought and another beer. The conversations got deeper, blushing-worthy as Josie and I disclosed secrets about one another to boys, and the music mix got better and better. We all started dancing as we worked our way up the hill to the Griffith Observatory. I was getting in trouble for being demanding; asking for a sour apple lollipop, more drinks, and someone to throw my trash and pass me chips. I think, in return for my bad behavior, I got made a very strong drink. Let’s just say vodka straight. When we got to the Observatory we all had to pee and I grabbed Josie’s hand to search for a bathroom. There were plenty of foreigners there and two were speaking in a different language looked at the two UG girls hand in hand and said “Lesbians.” Oh great, it’s not bad enough that most of our blog readers think we are lesbians now the rest of the world agrees. It didn’t help when we took a picture at the top that looks like Josie was copping a feel. This morning she saw the picture and said, “Oh great, I am a lumberjack and you are my wife.”
I don’t know what happened or where we went but when we re-entered the bus the party really began. The lights went down the mix was off-the-hook and we were all shaking our chonies scandalously. Some guy on the bus came up to me that night and said, “Josie is my God”. I looked at him confused and questioned what she might have done. He added, “She made us this awesome Party Bus music mix”. I laughed as clearly she did no such thing. Leave to Josie to take credit for other people’s work. The most amazing part of the night was driving by all the Hollywood clubs and seeing a line of 50 losers waiting outside as we had good-looking people, a ton of free booze, and hot jams right there on the bus as we cruised by them.
We did a final potty stop at the Arclight, where Josie and I began our infamous girl talk in the bathroom. She did her hair and when I said I’d meet her outside, she did her sad puppy yelp and I had to do the “good friend” thing. I was pretty sure the UGs would end up holding up the bus, I am just surprised it took til the end of the night. We saw Tracy as we were walking to the bus and I said, “Good, we aren’t the last ones on.” Of course, Tracy responded, “Um, I actually here to find you girls”. Uncouth! After the bus returned to Yxta, I headed home and Josie head to the Circus -Cirque Berzerk. Before I left I told her to remember that we were having brunch with The Delicious at 1:00 the next day. I then got yelled at from a bus-mate who said, “Brunch ends at noon, what do you ladies know about food?” Clearly Bottega Louie and I believe that brunch should go on until 3pm especially after Party Bus nights.
We had a business meeting of sorts with The Delicious who is one of our blogging idols as she runs two blogs (the other is the best food porn site Tastespotting) for a living. We were all Bottega Louie virgins and that means Josie and I ordered most things one the menu. We both said we wanted to order two things and when I still wanted to try the ricotta lemon pancakes we ordered them for The Delicious. Our dear friend Dawson, the head of Yelp LA, was kind enough to call head and make sure the so-called insanely hot manager, Eric, was working. Sadly, we found that was not the case. I am not that big on breakfast food but I was starving. Josie ordered the ham frittata and the egg sandwich. I had the farmer’s market breakfast and the potato pancakes. It was all quite good but I’d like to go for a meal I prefer like lunch and/or dinner. Also we must see this Eric guy at some point. Dawson said her boyfriends said, “I’m straight, but I’d do him”. Clearly this is someone we must meet!
Look at the corner of the egg sandwich pic for a piece of the Delicious. Or I suppose you can just look at the post below. Anyway, we had a great brunch and really like this girl. She knows business, boys, bloggers, booze and more. I think she feels mutually as she wrote this on her twitter:
Afterward Josie and I began running errands. First picking up pillows, then SBUX, then I recommend she look at two places but both were closed. We somehow ended up at Macys in Pasadena and Josie met my favorite make-up girl, Angel, who got me ready for Blogger Prom. She did Josie’s make-up and then we ended up at one of my favorite restaurants, Golden Deli. It was Josie’s first time and I think she fell in love. The pho was as pho-nomenal as always and the eggrolls are greasy pieces of delicious gold.
The UGs made two big new rules this weekend:
1. For any future business meetings the Uncouth Gourmands can not be trusted to wear white. We each had to say no to several outfits at Macys today because of that reason.
2. At this point in our lives/business we should attempt to date only: TV execs, accountants, lawyers, software programmers, and/or other successful men. We are desperately trying to stop our cycle of homeless drummers and starving artists. Wish us luck and feel free to apply!