I have been told by more than one person and on more than one occasion that I am not enough of a giver. I get it. It’s true. It is hard when you’ve read every book ever written on feminism to go out of your way and do nice things for men. Anyway, I was seeing a guy that I have been dating for a while that I haven’t seen in a few weeks and I knew that he was overwhelmed with work and more. I had the brief and rare thought to do something nice for him. Someone recently passed me along an email that explains the difference between men and women in terms of wants. The wants demanded by women was a list of 54 items including: #51 “Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself” and #48 “Be very rich.” The demands list of men was kept short and sweet with only 2 items: “Show up naked” and “Bring Alcohol.” Of course, I know men aren’t that simple and that there is something huge missing from the list. What is this thing? Well, let me say the best question I was ever asked was by a married man that I was in love with that said, “If your life was a video game, what would restore your power bar?” My answer was always a three parter: sunshine, compliments, and fruit. However, in my long history of dating men I have found that the answer of the human male is, 9 times out of 10, Pizza. Men love pizza. I had a lightbulb moment and decided to bring this guy pizza. I am a UG, so there is no way I could show up with Pizza Hut. I had to do better than that and then I remembered the Blackboard Eats coupon for Mozza2Go. It is the take-out version of the Mario Batali and Nancy Silverton baby, Pizzeria Mozza. I don’t want to admit to any illegal activity but I may have used someone’s code due to my lateness in response to retrieving the code. BBE is the greatest deal, it is either 30% off or some other special and you have one day to retrieve your code and then 1 month to use it. I am good at the using it part but tend to forget to retrieve codes in time. Let’s just say a fellow Twit came to my rescue.
This guy lives in WeHo so I called in ahead of time and picked it up to surprise him with. The BBE coupon was for 30% off the bill. I ordered the Mozza Caprese, which has the burrata that Josie just wrote about. It was awesome and I even liked the process of getting to assemble it myself. I also ordered the farro, cucumber, tomato and feta salad. It was also quite yummy. I told the guy about the farro/pharroh mix up that I had with my yelper and Twitter friends when we were at Lazy Ox but I don’t think he got it. My world makes no sense to him. Whenever I mention any new friends, he says, “Let me guess they are an FFB (Famous Food Blogger)?” He can mock all he wants, I know what I am…a Food Baller!
Now let’s get to the main reason I ordered from Mozza, the pizza. This guy is a nice Jewish guy that tries to not eat pork. Wow, that is a problem. I don’t know when the last time you examined pizza toppings but any of the ones worth getting have pork products. I browsed the menu unsure on what to do. I would have happily gotten the squash blossom, tomato, and burrata but I thought he might mock me for getting a flower as a pizza topping. I decided to get the margherita. Then my thoughtfulness was tossed out the window, I love sausage and decided to also get the fennel sausage pizza.
He was so impressed when I showed up at his house with two bags of food. The total for the two starters, two pizzas, and a dessert was just over $40. Hell yeah, Blackboard Eats rules! I know what you are all wondering, did he eat the sausage? Yes, he did. Did I get dessert? Yes, we ordered the Butterscotch Budino. If you were thinking of another question, about me getting a good porking, I choose to not answer.